Give the gift of theatre

The Orchard Theatre
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Key: Theatre Includes What's On Includes Offers Chosen Theatre

The Orchard Theatre

Home Gardens, Dartford, Kent, DA1 1ED
0343 310 0033

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What's On Highlights

Matthew Bourne’s The Midnight Bell
From:27-09-2021
To:29-09-2021
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Matthew Bourne’s new World Premiere for New Adventures explores the under-belly of 1930s London life where ordinary people emerge from cheap boarding houses nightly to pour out their passions, hopes and dreams in the pubs and bars of fog-bound Soho and Fitzrovia. Step inside The Midnight Bell, a tavern where one particular lonely-hearts club gather to play out their lovelorn affairs of the heart; bitter comedies of longing, frustration, betrayal and redemption.

Inspired by the great English novelist Patrick Hamilton (Twenty Thousand Streets Under The Sky, Hangover Square) who created some of the most authentic fiction of his era; stories borne out of years of social interactions with the working man and woman at his favourite location - the London Pub.

Master storyteller Bourne once again joins forces with the Olivier and Tony award-winning team of Terry Davies, Lez Brotherston, Paule Constable and Paul Groothuis for this brand new production.

David Baddiel Trolls: Not The Dolls
From:30-09-2021
To:30-09-2021
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The follow up to his acclaimed shows Fame: Not The Musical, and My Family: Not The Sitcom
Following his five-star Olivier-nominated hit My Family: Not The Sitcom and the return to number 1 of his seminal football anthem Three Lions, David Baddiel comes back to the stage with a brand new one-man show, Trolls: Not The Dolls.
Trolls – the terrible people who spend all day insulting and abusing strangers for no other reason than to fill the huge gaps in their souls. There is a common wisdom about how to deal with trolls: don’t, for goodness sake, encourage these people by replying to them.
It’s a good law. And it’s one that David Baddiel has consistently broken. Because David has always seen trolls as hecklers, and if a comedian gets heckled, it is their duty not to ignore the heckler, but to wittily put them down. Over the years, David has spent a lot of time doing this, which has led him to think that there might be a show in it: a show that would say something about how we live now.

Al Murray Landlord Of Hope And Glory
From:01-10-2021
To:01-10-2021
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The year is 2021. The world stands on the brink. Turmoil is the norm. Questions have been asked and none answered. What we need is one man, to step forward, one man with all the answers. Well you’re in luck, ladies and gentlemen - he’s here and touring the nation.

Age: “14+, but they’re your kids, so it’s up to you” The Pub Landlord

Jason Donovan
From:02-10-2021
To:02-10-2021
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Jason Donovan is thrilled to be embarking on a mammoth 52 date tour, which marks the 30th anniversary of his hugely successful debut album ‘Ten Good Reasons’. His ‘Even More Good Reasons’ tour will see Jason singing his greatest pop hits along with his favourite songs from his career in musicals, all accompanied by a full live band.

Songs will include the chart-toppers ‘Too Many Broken Hearts’, ‘Especially For You’ and ‘Any Dream Will Do’ and for the first time ever, Jason will be performing a selection of songs from the musicals he has starred in. These will include songs from ‘Joseph And The Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat’, ‘The Rocky Horror Show’ and ‘Priscilla Queen of the Desert’.

Jason commented: “Having not done my own live shows for a while I can’t wait to get out there again amongst my fans and deliver a new energetic show that is both personal, creative and reflective ... something that is both nostalgic and just a bloody good night out.”

Ghost The Musical
From:05-10-2021
To:09-10-2021
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Walking back to their apartment late one night, a tragic encounter sees Sam murdered and his beloved girlfriend Molly alone, in despair and utterly lost. But with the help of a phony storefront psychic, Sam, trapped between this world and the next, tries to communicate with Molly in the hope of saving her from grave danger…

The movie ‘Ghost’ has proven to be one of cinema’s biggest all-time hits. Starring the late Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore and Whoopi Goldberg, it was the highest grossing film of 1990 and won an Oscar for screenwriter Bruce Joel Rubin who has adapted his screenplay for this musical. The international smash hit returns to the stage, featuring The Righteous Brothers’ Unchained Melody alongside many more terrific songs co-written by Eurythmics’ Dave Stewart.

SFMQ: Sounds Familiar Music Quiz
From:09-10-2021
To:09-10-2021
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THE UK’S BIGGEST, BEST & MOST RAUCOUS MUSIC QUIZ

100 KILLER TUNES, 1 EPIC NIGHT

Sounds Familiar is the ‘sonic lovechild’ of your favourite jukebox and the best party you’ve ever been to! It’s a Music Quiz like you’ve never played before.

We have rounds stuffed full of Old-Skool Anthems, Chart Classics, Indie Bangers, Mash-Ups, Power Ballads, Guilty Pleasures and over 100 killer tunes in one epic night!

The Illegal Eagles
From:10-10-2021
To:10-10-2021
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The Illegal Eagles return to Dartford in 2021 for another outstanding show promising more of their trademark musical prowess, acute attention to detail and incredible showmanship.

This critically acclaimed show features the very best from the Eagles’ catalogue of classics including ’Hotel California’, ‘Desperado’, ‘Take It Easy’, ‘New Kid In Town’, ‘Life In The Fast Lane’ and many more…

Ian Waite & Vincent Simone - Act Two
From:11-10-2021
To:11-10-2021
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The Ballroom Boys double act Ian Waite and Vincent Simone are set to return in 2021 with a brand new show - Ian Waite and Vincent Simone….Act Two, after the roaring success of their 5 star rated 2019 tour!

The fabulous Strictly Come Dancing stars promise another wonderful evening of old-fashioned variety - dance, comedy and song!

With beautiful costumes, gorgeous lighting and world class routines, including the Viennese Waltz, the Foxtrot, the Rhumba and of course there has to be another incredible Argentine Tango routine by the master! The boys will be joined by their stunning dance partners and a world class singer.

If you enjoyed The Ballroom Boys, then make sure you don’t miss the hilarious dancing duo when they bring you….Act Two!

Peppa Pig’s Best Day Ever
From:15-10-2021
To:17-10-2021
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Peppa Pig is excited to be going on a special day out with George, Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig - it’s going to be her best day ever!

Get ready for a road-trip full of fun adventures. From castles to caves, dragons to dinosaurs and ice-creams to muddy puddles – there is something for all of the family and their friends to enjoy, including Miss Rabbit, Mr Bull, Suzy Sheep, Gerald Giraffe and more!

Prepare for the brand new Peppa Pig live show packed full of songs, games and laughter, it really is the best day ever for Peppa Pig fans!

DAODS presents .... Shrek
From:20-10-2021
To:23-10-2021
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Dartford Amateur Operatic Dramatics Society Presents...

Based on the Oscar-winning DreamWorks Animation film, Shrek The Musical is a Tony Award-winning fairy tale adventure, featuring all new songs from Jeanine Tesori (Thoroughly Modern Millie; Caroline, or Change) and a sidesplitting book by David Lindsay-Abaire.

Shrek brings all the beloved characters you know from the film to life on stage and proves there’s more to the story than meets the ears.

Sunday Lunch with Live Entertainment
From:25-10-2021
To:24-10-2021
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Enjoy a Sunday afternoon at the Orchard Theatre enjoying a deliciously prepared three-course Sunday roast, all whilst being entertained by the UK’s top tribute artists.

Dance at your table to your favourite act or simply sit back, relax and take in the sound of our Sundays with Live Entertainment.

Bar open 11am
Sunday Lunch 12.30pm
Performance 1.30pm

Russell Brand 33
From:24-10-2021
To:24-10-2021
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Russell Brand doing stand up on the strangeness of the last 18 months.

What have we learned and not learned?

And how do you ‘get back to normal’ if you’ve never been normal?

Age Recommendation: 16+

An Evening With Sir Geoff Hurst
From:24-10-2021
To:24-10-2021
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An Evening with England’s Hat Trick Hero and World Cup Winner Sir Geoff Hurst

After 2019’s highly successful mini-tour, Sir Geoff enjoyed it so much that he is going back on the road in 2021.

Talking about his West Ham and England career and his life in general, he has some great stories to tell. All told with humour and humility, this is the only man in Footballs long and illustrious history to have scored a hat trick in a World Cup Final. He tells the inside story of this greatest ever achievement.

Compere is his friend and agent Terry Baker and in the second half, the audience get to ask the questions. Some of the answers may be a surprise to many.

It’s a great night for all football fans!

Ed Byrne If I'm Honest...
From:25-10-2021
To:25-10-2021
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Join Ed as he takes a long hard look at himself and tries to decide if he has ANY traits that are worth passing on to his children.

Since storming the Edinburgh Festival in 2019, this masterclass in observational comedy has been filling venues across the country with available tickets in short supply.

A TV household name, in the past year Ed has appeared on Live At The Apollo (Host, BBC), Mock The Week (BBC), The Pilgrimage (BBC), Top Gear (BBC) and QI (BBC).

Rock of Ages
From:26-10-2021
To:30-10-2021
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The smash-hit musical is back, and the party is gonna be BIGGER than ever!

ROCK OF AGES is the hilarious musical comedy lavished with over 25 CLASSIC ROCK ANTHEMS, including Don’t Stop Believin’, We Built This City, The Final Countdown, Wanted Dead or Alive, Here I Go Again, Can’t Fight this Feeling and I Want To Know What Love Is, played loud and proud by an AWESOME live band.

Leave it all behind and lose yourself in a city and a time where the DREAMS are as BIG as the HAIR, and yes, they can come true!

Now a global smash with hit seasons on Broadway, London’s West End and Las Vegas and a star studded Hollywood movie version, we promise you the best night out around!

BOOK NOW AND LET’S GET READY TO ROCK!

Maximum Rhythm & Blues The Manfreds with Georgie Fame
From:31-10-2021
To:31-10-2021
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Join the legendary Manfreds and Georgie Fame for an evening of Rhythm and Blues nostalgia, and some of the greatest hits ever written.

The Manfreds with an all-star line-up of original members Paul Jones, Mike D’Abo, Tom McGuinness and Mike Hugg with Rob Townsend, Marcus Cliffe and Simon Currie will be recreating many of their greatest hits both as part of Manfred Mann and as successful solo artists.

Joining the Manfreds is bone fide legend Georgie Fame. With more than 20 albums and a career full of collaboration with music’s most famous names, Georgie has rightly earned iconic status in the British music scene.

An all-star line-up with the hits to match!

Groan Ups
From:01-11-2021
To:06-11-2021
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Something a little different from the creators of The Play That Goes Wrong…

Following their phenomenal rise to global success with smash hit comedies The Play That Goes Wrong, The Comedy About a Bank Robbery, Peter Pan Goes Wrong and The Goes Wrong Show on BBC One, multi award-winning Mischief return to the stage with their brand-new comedy all about growing up.

Looking for answers to the questions, ‘do we choose who we become? Is the story of our lives already written? Do we ever really grow up?’, Groan Ups follows an unruly classroom of six year-olds on their journey through anarchic high school teenagers to the challenges of adulthood.

Bag your tickets early. This is a lesson not to be skipped!

Age recommendation 12+

Sixties Gold
From:07-11-2021
To:07-11-2021
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The Trem?eloes, Have sold in excess of 100 Million records worldwide, featuring the legendary Len “Chip” Hawkes and Micky Clarke with their huge No 1 Hits “Silence Is Golden”, “Suddenly You Love Me”, “Even The Band Times Are Good”, “(Call Me) Number One” And many more!!

Herman’s Hermits. One of the biggest selling bands of the 60’s now celebrating their 55th anniversary. Formed in Manchester in 1964, the band has chalked up 23 Hit Singles, 10 Hit Albums, appeared in 3 major movies and have sold in excess of 75 Million records. Hits include: “There’s a Kind of Hush”, “Silhouettes”, “Can’t You Hear My Heart Beat”, “Wonderful World”, “A Must to Avoid”, and many more.

The Merseybeats. Another success story from the Liverpool. Hit records include “Don’t Turn Around” “Sorrow”, “I Think of You”, and “Wishin’ and Hopin’”.

Joe Brown The Farewell Tour
From:08-11-2021
To:08-11-2021
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National treasure and UK premier rock ‘n’ roll legend Joe Brown MBE takes to the road on his final tour to celebrate over 60 years at the top in the music business and to thank his fans for a lifetime of memories.

Combining timeless classics, rockabilly, gospel, country, bluegrass, and rock ‘n’ roll with Joe’s effervescent delivery and humorous reminiscences, this sensational show is pure entertainment with a capital E and a musical journey not to be missed.

Joe’s band includes Fiddle virtuoso Tom Leary; Guitar / Mandolin veteran Steve Simpson; Ace Bass player Andy Crowdy and stalwart band member, drummer, percussionist and singer Phil Capaldi completing his 30th year as a member of Joe’s band.

Don’t miss Joe Brown’s final fling.

Horrible Histories: Barmy Britain
From:10-11-2021
To:14-11-2021
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We all want to meet people from history. The trouble is everyone is dead! So it’s time to prepare yourselves for this very special production of Horrible Histories live on stage in Dartford!

Can you beat battling Boudicca? Would you be a martyr for the Magna Carta? Will you lose your heart or head to horrible Henry VIII? Will Parliament survive gunpowder Guy? Dare you stand and deliver to dastardly Dick Turpin? Escape the clutches of Burke and Hare and move to the groove with party Queen Victoria!

It’s the horrible history of Britain with the nasty bits left in – to entertain the whole family this autumn!

Jimmy Carr Terribly Funny
From:14-11-2021
To:14-11-2021
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Jimmy’s brand new show contains jokes about all kinds of terrible things.
Terrible things that might have affected you or people you know and love.
But they’re just jokes - they are not the terrible things.
Having political correctness at a comedy show is like having health and safety at a rodeo.
Now you’ve been warned, buy a ticket.

Dirty Dancing
From:16-11-2021
To:20-11-2021
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The iconic story of Baby and Johnny, featuring the hit songs 'Hungry Eyes', ‘Hey! Baby’, ‘Do You Love Me?’ and the heart-stopping ‘(I’ve Had) The Time Of My Life’, returns to the stage, following two blockbuster West End runs, four-hit UK tours, and multiple sensational international productions.

It’s the summer of 1963, and 17-year-old Frances ‘Baby’ Houseman is about to learn some major lessons in life as well as a thing or two about dancing. On holiday in New York’s Catskill Mountains with her older sister and parents, she shows little interest in the resort activities and instead discovers her own entertainment when she stumbles across an all-night dance party at the staff quarters. Mesmerised by the raunchy dance moves and the pounding rhythms, Baby can’t wait to be part of the scene, especially when she catches sight of Johnny Castle the resort dance instructor.

Full of passion and romance, heart-pounding music and sensationally sexy dancing!

Sunday Lunch with Live Entertainment
From:21-11-2021
To:21-11-2021
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Enjoy a Sunday afternoon at the Orchard Theatre enjoying a deliciously prepared three-course Sunday roast, all whilst being entertained by the UK’s top tribute artists.

Dance at your table to your favourite act or simply sit back, relax and take in the sound of our Sundays with Live Entertainment.

Bar open 11am
Sunday Lunch 12.30pm
Performance 1.30pm

Henning Wehn It'll All Come Out In The Wash
From:21-11-2021
To:21-11-2021
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Watch German Comedy Ambassador Henning Wehn give everything a good rinse and witness him wring sense out of the nonsensical. Henning has no agenda, he just happens to be always spot on. It’s a curse.

A master at using his outsider status. Dazzlingly funny
The Times
He’s German but he means well
some bloke on Twitter
Henning’s most recent television and radio appearances include “Have I Got News For You” BBC1, “Would I Lie To You” BBC1,
“Live At The Apollo” BBC2, “Question Time” BBC1, “8 Out Of Cats Does Countdown” Channel 4, “Fighting Talk” BBC Radio 5 Live and “The Unbelievable Truth” BBC Radio 4.

Age Restriction: 16+

Total 90’S
From:22-11-2021
To:22-11-2021
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The 90s… Girl Power, Boy Bands, Mysterious Girls, and Men In Black…Things U Can’t Touch, Numbered Mambos, and Vidas that were Loca!

Total 90s crams all that was good and great from the pop charts of the decade into a unique high energy experience – 21 chart-topping tribute acts, performing 45 smash hits!

With bespoke video visuals and over 100 costume changes, authentically-choreographed multi-talented performers bring it all back with the best party night to hit theatres…EVER!

So, everybody get up and be ready for the mack to return in an evening which is guaranteed to spice up your life! The 1990s – you’ll definitely want to stay another day!

Bedknobs and Broomsticks
From:24-11-2021
To:28-11-2021
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Enter a world of magic and fantasy as Disney’s classic movie Bedknobs and Broomsticks makes its world premiere as an exciting new stage musical.

When the three orphaned Rawlins children are reluctantly evacuated from wartime London to live with the mysterious Eglantine Price, they have no idea what adventures lie ahead. Upon discovering Eglantine to be a trainee witch, they join forces to search for a secret spell that will defeat the enemy once and for all. Armed with an enchanted bedknob, a bewitched broomstick and a magical flying bed, they encounter surprising new friendships on their journey from Portobello Road to the depths of the beautiful briny sea.

The Sensational 60s Experience
From:29-11-2021
To:29-11-2021
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Whether you come to relive your childhood memories or you just simply want to see what your parents have been raving about for all these years. Come and experience the musical phenomena of the 1960s for yourself. Full of timeless classics, this is the must-see 60’s show for 2021.

Joel Dommet Unapologetic: (If That's Okay?)
From:30-11-2021
To:30-11-2021
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Join Joel as he brings you bang up to date on his life since his last live show!

He has become a regular face on TV, from being a finalist in 2016’s I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here! (ITV), to then hosting ITV2’s I’m a Celebrity Extra Camp alongside Scarlett Moffatt and Joe Swash. He starred in two series of the critically acclaimed Comedy Central Show Joel and Nish VS the World, is the co-host of ITV2’s new dating show Singletown and he’s the presenter of the soon to be aired international smash The Masked Singer (ITV).

The start of 2019 saw Joel release a 30 minute stand-up special for NETFLIX as part of a global comedy event Comedians of the World.

He has also achieved a place on the Sunday Times Bestseller list with his book It’s Not Me It’s Them which was recently released in paperback.

Age guidance 14+

Whitney - Queen Of the Night
From:01-12-2021
To:01-12-2021
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Direct from The West End, experience the ultimate Whitney Houston tribute show as it tours across the UK performing over 100 concerts every year!

Whitney - Queen of the Night is a stunning celebration of the music and life of one of the greatest singers of our time. This phenomenal production consistently delivers an outstanding concert that has been described as:

a powerhouse performance that delivers on every level ...

Taking audiences on a magical rollercoaster ride through three decades of nostalgic hits that include: I Wanna Dance With Somebody, One Moment In Time, I’m Every Woman, I Will Always Love You, My Love Is Your Love, So Emotional Baby, Run to You, Saving All My Love, How Will I Know, Million Dollar Bill, The Greatest Love Of All, and many more…

Join us for an unmissable evening as we pay homage to the Queen of Pop with a sensational cast and a stunning live band.

Sir Ranulph Fiennes
From:02-12-2021
To:02-12-2021
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Named by the Guinness Book of Records as ‘the world’s greatest living explorer’, Sir Ranulph Fiennes has spent his life in pursuit of extreme adventure; inspiring generations and risking life and limb in some of the most ambitious private expeditions ever undertaken.

Amongst his many record-breaking achievements, he was the first to reach both Poles, the first to cross the Antarctic and Arctic Ocean, and the first to circumnavigate the world along its polar axis – his current goal is to become the first person in the world to cross both polar ice caps and climb the highest mountain on each of the seven continents.

Both light-hearted and strikingly poignant, Living Dangerously offers a personal journey through Sir Ranulph’s life, spanning his early childhood and school misdemeanours, his army life, the Transglobe Expedition and his current Global Reach Challenge; making him a pioneer of exploration with an unparalleled story to tell.

John Bishop Right Here, Right Now
From:03-12-2021
To:03-12-2021
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Comedy superstar John Bishop is coming to Dartford with his highly anticipated brand-new stand-up show – Right Here, Right Now.

This will be John’s eighth stand up show and it is shaping up to be his best yet. It will see him performing across the UK, Ireland, America, Canada and Europe. He can’t wait to be back on the road again!!

John has achieved huge success with a number of his own comedy, entertainment and documentary shows including- ‘John Bishop’s Australia’ (BBC1), ‘John Bishop’s Britain’ (BBC1); ‘John Bishop’s Only Joking’ (Sky1); ‘The John Bishop Show’ (BBC1); ‘The John Bishop Christmas Show’ (BBC1) and ‘John Bishop’s Gorilla Adventure’ (ITV1). More recently ‘John Bishop’s Ireland’ for ITV1 and four mammoth series of the critically acclaimed ‘John Bishop: In Conversation With…’ which saw him chatting, one to one with some of the World’s biggest, household names.

16+. Latecomers will not be admitted.

Christmas with the West End Jerseys
From:07-12-2021
To:07-12-2021
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Celebrate the iconic music of Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons.

Outstanding vocals, tight harmonies, and slick routines combine with a huge dose of showmanship to leave you “Beggin” for more ...

The dinner dance also exclusively is followed by our resident DJ.

Lunch: 12:30pm
Dinner dance: 7pm

Christmas with Reflections of Abba
From:08-12-2021
To:08-12-2021
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Reflections Of Abba is a professional, fully self-contained female duo singing to backing tracks, featuring the very best of ABBA without the need for Benny & Bjorn! Stunning costume changes and exciting dance routines make a truly dazzling show!

A ‘showstopping’ three-course festive lunch or dinner will set you up for this unforgettable party.

Lunch: 12:30pm
Dinner dance: 7pm

Soul & Motown Christmas
From:09-12-2021
To:09-12-2021
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Let the heartbeat of American music be your soundtrack this Christmas!

Take yourself to the Swinging 60s with our live band performing classics from the likes of Diana Ross & The Supremes, Marvin Gaye and Stevie Wonder.

A ‘showstopping’ three-course festive dinner will set you up for this unforgettable party.

Lunch: 12:30pm
Dinner dance: 7pm

That’ll Be The Day
From:13-12-2021
To:13-12-2021
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That’ll Be The Day’s Rock & Roll Christmas show has been running for over thirty years and has grown into the most popular touring production in the UK.

Refreshed every year, the show combines the best pop Christmas classics and traditional Christmas songs with hilarious comedy routines. For many, the That’ll Be The Day Christmas Special is the essential start to their festive season.

The audience is taken on a rollercoaster sleigh ride through the ‘golden’ age of Rock & Roll and Pop and is guaranteed to leave with that ‘feel good’ factor.

The super talented cast ensure a high quality variety show which, to date, has delighted over a million customers.

Come and join them this year, you won’t be disappointed.

Jack and the Beanstalk
From:11-12-2021
To:02-01-2022
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We are pleased to announce that that stage, screen and pantomime legend, the one-and-only Christopher Biggins will be starring in this year’s sensational family pantomime Jack and the Beanstalk!

Jack and the Beanstalk will be a fun-filled Christmas extravaganza telling the fairy tale of a poor local lad who goes on a fantastic adventure up a beanstalk where fortune lies. This year’s production will be the perfect festive panto with a fabulous cast and orchestra, laugh-out-loud comedy, stunning scenery and of course, plenty of audience participation.

Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum, a giant of a Panto this way comes. With tickets on sale now, you’ll want to head towards the Orchard Box Office to snap up the best seats for Dartford’s iconic family pantomime.

Fastlove - A Tribute to George Michael
From:07-01-2022
To:07-01-2022
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Get ready for an unforgettable evening celebrating the global superstar that is George Michael.

Make new memories whilst reliving old classics. The show features all his hits including Father Figure, Freedom, Faith and many more. This is one show-stopping extravaganza you do not want to miss!

You’ll be getting up (to get down) to all your best-loved songs from Wham and George’s solo career including Careless Whisper, Freedom 90, Outside and Too Funky !

This show will take you on a musical journey from the moving Jesus To A Child , to the celebration of Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me , to everyone’s favourites I’m Your Man and Wake Me Up . Join us as we present our respectful tribute to one of the greatest musicians of all time with our stunning stage show that’s taking the globe by storm. The show is now touring in Australia, Belgium, Denmark, Germany, Holland, Ireland and Sweden, with more countries to come.

Jason Manford Like Me
From:09-01-2022
To:09-01-2022
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He’s back! It’s been a busy few years for Jason since his last smash-hit stand up show but fans of his Absolute Radio show will know this nationally acclaimed comedian hasn’t changed a bit. ‘Like Me’ is Jason’s latest comic offering set to hit the road, and is sure to be ‘expert observational comedy’ (The Guardian) mixed with ‘comic gold’ (Mail on Sunday).

Jason said: “After the fun we had on my last tour ‘Muddle Class’, I’m excited to get back on the road with my new stand up show, ‘Like Me’. In these trying times it’s always important to be able to get away for a couple of hours and exercise the old chuckle muscle! So I’m coming to a venue near you in 2022 so we can have a good laugh together. See you then.”

Fat Friends - The Musical
From:14-01-2022
To:15-01-2022
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The “weight’ is over! Fat Friends - The Musical is back and it’s going to be bigger and better than ever!

Following the massive success of its first outing, Kay Mellor’s Fat Friends - The Musical, returns to Dartford, starring West End and TV favourite, Lee Mead. This hugely entertaining musical is based on the hit TV show Fat Friends, that starred James Corden and Ruth Jones. Created and directed by the brilliant award winning Kay Mellor, (In the Club, Girlfriends, Band of Gold), whose latest hit series of The Syndicate has just run on BBC ONE and with original music and songs by Nicholas Lloyd Webber, Fat Friends - The Musical reunites our favourite foodie friends as they are put through their Zumba paces at their local slimming club, whilst Kelly fantasises about fitting into the wedding dress of her dreams.

Fanny Galore’s Big Bingo Party
From:16-01-2022
To:16-01-2022
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Join us for a fun game with of delicious food, bubbles (non-alcoholic options available) bingo and of course your hostess with the mostest Fanny Galore, our favourite drag queen.

Get those dabbers ready , it could be lucky for some! Eyes down for a full house with Fanny Galore’s Big Bingo Party!

My Best Friend’s Wedding
From:17-01-2022
To:22-01-2022
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The smash-hit 90s movie My Best Friend’s Wedding is now a brand new musical comedy and you’re invited!

Starring Alexandra Burke (The Bodyguard, Chicago, Sister Act), with book by Ronald Bass (My Best Friend’s Wedding, Rain Man, The Joy Luck Club) and Jonathan Harvey (Beautiful Thing, Gimme Gimme Gimme, Coronation Street), My Best Friend’s Wedding features some of the most iconic songs ever written by the legendary Burt Bacharach and Hal David, including I’ll Never Fall in Love Again, I Just Don’t Know What To Do With Myself, Walk on By, I Say A Little Prayer, What’s New Pussycat and many, many more.

Fiery food critic Julianne Potter has always turned her nose up at romance. It’s the reason she broke up with her sweetheart Michael O’Neal. When she hears he’s about to be married, she vows to win him back for good, but with perfect Kimmy in the way, it’s not as easy as she first thought. Can she derail her best friend’s wedding in time and keep Michael all for herself?

Jersey Boys
From:18-01-2022
To:22-01-2022
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The Internationally acclaimed stage sensation, JERSEY BOYS is coming to Dartford for the very first time!
This smash hit musical has won 65 major awards and has been seen by over 27 million people worldwide.

They were just four guys from Jersey, until they sang their very first note. They had a sound nobody had ever heard… and the radio just couldn’t get enough of.? But while their harmonies were perfect on stage, off stage it was a very different story—a story that has made them an international sensation all over again. The show features all their hits including “Sherry,” “Big Girls Don’t Cry,” “Oh What A Night,” “Walk Like A Man,” “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You” and “Working My Way Back To You.”

Go behind the music and inside the story of Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons in the Olivier Award-winning, original Broadway sensation, JERSEY BOYS. From the streets of New Jersey to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, this is the musical that’s too good to be true.

Sunday Lunch with Live Entertainment
From:23-01-2022
To:23-01-2022
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Enjoy a Sunday afternoon at the [Venue Name] enjoying a deliciously prepared three-course Sunday roast, all whilst being entertained by the UK’s top tribute artists.

Dance at your table to your favourite act or simply sit back, relax and take in the sound of our Sundays with Live Entertainment.

Bar open 11am
Sunday Lunch 12.30pm
Performance 1.30pm

The Adult Panto Little Red Riding...
From:23-01-2022
To:23-01-2022
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They’re back again! Oh yes they are! Following the sell-out success of their 2020 show ‘Peter Panties’, the Market Theatre Company are out to corrupt another fairy-tail classic beyond recognition with an Adult Panto like no other.

The fearless company of 3 actors return to bring you an evening of corny jokes, raunchy plots and blatant sexual innuendo using a minimum of set props and costume.

Prolong that all too short seasonal spirit and get ready for another evening of slick, fast-moving, farcical fun and bawdy sexual innuendo (did we mention the innuendo?) for adults only.

Not suitable for under 16’s.

Six The Musical
From:25-01-2022
To:30-01-2022
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DIVORCED ? BEHEADED ? LIVE!
THE WEST END SMASH HIT

A sold-out hit in the West End, on its UK Tour, at the Sydney Opera House and reigning on Broadway, the multi Olivier Award nominated, international smash hit SIX is the phenomenon everyone is losing their head over!

From Tudor queens to pop princesses, the six wives of Henry VIII finally take to the mic to tell their tales, remixing five hundred years of historical heartbreak into an 80-minute celebration of 21st-century girl power. These Queens may have green sleeves but their lipstick is rebellious red. It’s time they told their story.

Think you know the rhyme, think again….

Divorced. Beheaded. LIVE!

Oi Frog & Friends!
From:26-01-2022
To:30-01-2022
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ARE YOU SITTING COMFORTABLY?
It’s a new day at Sittingbottom school and FROG is looking for a place to sit, but CAT has other ideas and DOG is doing as he’s told. Little do any of them know that chaos is coming..

Who knew there were so many rhyming rules and what will happen when FROG is in charge?

Join FROG, CAT and DOG in this Olivier Award nominated stage adaptation of Kes Gray and Jim Field’s bestselling books. Expect songs, puppets, laughs and more rhymes than you can shake a chime at. Oi Frog & Friends! is created for the stage by Emma Earle, Zoe Squire, Luke Bateman and Richy Hughes.

55 minutes of fun for ages 3+

Kevin Clifton - BURN THE FLOOR
From:02-02-2022
To:02-02-2022
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Kevin Clifton and the sensational worldwide Ballroom dance company Burn The Floor return with a bang in 2022!

This fiery, energetic and revolutionary Ballroom production will, once again, set stages alight and show audiences why it is still the world’s leading Ballroom show after more than two decades.

A mix of eclectic live music, jaw-dropping choreography and ground-breaking moves, this show has an abundance of infectious, rebellious energy and passion.

Feel the intensity of the passionate Tango, be swept away by the romance of the Waltz and be captivated by the sensual, alluring Rhumba.

Starring KEVIN CLIFTON, one of the most successful professional dancers to come out of Strictly Come Dancing, BURN THE FLOOR is the show to watch in 2022!

Not just a “feel-good” performance, we are seriously a “feel-fantastic” show! Don’t miss your chance to experience the pure dance joy of Burn the Floor.

Rob Beckett Wallop
From:03-02-2022
To:05-02-2022
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It’s been a busy few years for the Mouth of the South and he’s coming to see you to fill you in and make you laugh.

Host of BBC One’s All Together Now and team captain on Channel 4’s 8 Out Of 10 Cats. He is also the star of BBC One’s Live At The Apollo, Would I Lie To You?, Channel 4’s 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown, BBC Two’s Mock The Week, ITV’s Play To The Whistle, ITV2’s Celebrity Juice and Sky’s A League of Their Own. And he is a host of Dave’s podcast, The Magic Sponge, alongside Jimmy Bullard and Ian Smith.

Age Guidance: 14+

Sunday Lunch with Live Entertainment
From:06-02-2022
To:06-02-2022
+ More Info +

Enjoy a Sunday afternoon at the [Venue Name] enjoying a deliciously prepared three-course Sunday roast, all whilst being entertained by the UK’s top tribute artists.

Dance at your table to your favourite act or simply sit back, relax and take in the sound of our Sundays with Live Entertainment.

Bar open 11am
Sunday Lunch 12.30pm
Performance 1.30pm

Chris Ramsey
From:06-02-2022
To:06-02-2022
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Critically acclaimed comedian Chris Ramsey is hitting the road for his biggest ever stand-up tour in 2020. Having filled venues across

Critically acclaimed comedian Chris Ramsey is hitting the road for his biggest ever stand-up tour yet. Having filled venues across the country including The Newcastle Metro Arena (twice) don’t miss your chance to catch him live on stage while you can.

His stand-up special ‘Approval Needed’ is available to stream on Amazon Prime now and alongside his wife Rosie he is also the co-host of the no.1 hit podcast Shagged. Married. Annoyed.

Downloaded a phenomenal 43 million times to date, Chris and Rosie won the Global Award’s Best Podcast Award, and British Podcast Award Listeners Choice in 2020, their brand new book launched in autumn 2020 reaching number one on both Amazon and the Sunday Times Best Seller charts.

Madama Butterfly
From:13-02-2022
To:13-02-2022
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Senbla presents Opera International’s award-winning Ellen Kent Production with international soloists, highly-praised chorus and full orchestra

Winner ‘Best Opera Award’
Liverpool Daily Post Theatre Awards
Welcoming back the fabulous Korean soprano Elena Dee and the celebrated international soprano Alyona Kistenyova*.

Back by overwhelming public demand, this award-winning Opera returns in a new production with exquisite sets including a spectacular Japanese garden and fabulous costumes including antique wedding kimonos from Japan.

One of the world’s most popular operas, Puccini’s Madama Butterfly tells the heart-breaking story of the beautiful young Japanese girl who falls in love with an American naval lieutenant – with dramatic results.

Come What May
From:14-02-2022
To:14-02-2022
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We present to you an all-singing, all-dancing extravaganza as you enter the secret world of one of the greatest movie-musicals of all time.

Featuring the sensational ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ Winner Jai McDowall and a cast of top West End performers.

Bursting at the seams with timeless classics including Come What May, Your Song, Diamonds Are A Girls Best Friend, Roxanne and Lady Marmalade plus hit songs from The Greatest Showman and other iconic movie musicals.

Travel back in time as the children of the revolution take you on a thrilling non-stop journey into the sexy, disreputable and glamorous underworld of Paris.

It’s a ‘Spectacular, Spectacular’ evening of unforgettable dancing, dreams, adventure and above all – love!

Syd Lawrence Orchestra
From:15-02-2022
To:15-02-2022
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The “Best Big Band in the Land” is back and their explosive new show is better than ever!

Hold on tight as Live and Swinging takes you on an exciting journey that is stunning, dynamic, and thrilling. Directed by Chris Dean, this mesmerizing performance is packed with your Big Band Favourites.

Featuring the music of Glenn Miller, Count Basie, Tommy Dorsey, Quincy Jones, Billy May, Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald and many more.

This is definitely a musical extravaganza you won’t want to miss!

Tottenham Legends in Conversation
From:16-02-2022
To:16-02-2022
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Ossie Ardiles, Graham Roberts & David Howells

Hosted by Hayley McQueen of Sky Sports

Three Spurs legends are coming to town to talk about their action-packed careers as football stars in the Tottenham Legends in Conversation show.

Football fans are invited to join ex-player and manager – Ossie Ardiles, fans favourite Graham Roberts and Spurs stalwart David Howells as they discuss the big games, dressing room and training ground stories, managers, fall outs and everything you wanted to know about playing and managing a successful football club.

There will be a chance to pose questions to the stars during the evening. And VIP tickets are available affording the opportunity for a meet and greet with the legendary players and a photograph opportunity before the show.

Jim Davidson
From:17-02-2022
To:17-02-2022
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After months of Lockdown, and with the comedy pressure valve set to explode, the people’s favourite is back with a brand-new show for 2022! More outrageous than ever. Jim Davidson OBE, one of Britain’s greatest ever comedians are unlocked and asks you to breakout too and join him on another hilarious white-knuckle get-away, coming to a theatre near you!

Jack Dee Off The Telly
From:18-02-2022
To:18-02-2022
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Join Jack Dee for an evening of entertainment (food and beverages not included) in his new stand-up tour.

“In these difficult and uncertain times people need hope – a ray of sunshine to brighten their day. And that’s very much where I come in” says Jack.

Star of TV sitcoms Bad Move, Lead Balloon and Josh, Jack also hosts the legendary Radio 4 show I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue. Additional credits include presenting Jack Dee’s Helpdesk on BBC Two, C4’s The Jack Dee Show, ITV’s Jack Dee’s Saturday Night, BBC’s Jack Dee’s Happy Hour and Jack Dee Live at the Apollo. “In fact,” explains Jack, “I’ve probably appeared in every TV show with my name in the title”.

Other sidelines include Motivational Speaking, which Jack describes as “Basically a total waste of time, talking to losers, but the cash is decent” and then adds “Don’t print that”. It’s so hard to tell when he’s being serious.

In recognition of his charity work, Jack was denied an OBE in 2015.

Tropicana Nights Pure 80s Heaven
From:19-02-2022
To:19-02-2022
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If you are looking for a fun-filled evening of pure 80s music and dancing for the over 25’s, then look no further. Come and join us at one of our amazing parties and indulge yourselves in pure 80s heaven.

Tropicana Nights specialises in good old fashioned party nights. We provide a fantastic unique 80s themed venue, friendly party atmosphere and we guarantee you and your friends will have an incredible night.

Whether you go all out in your favourite 80s outfit or not, you are guaranteed to get in the party mood as soon as you walk into the room. Not only will you be getting the 80s experience but you will also receive a warm welcome with free gifts. We will also be giving away prizes for the best fancy dress on the night!

So, if you want to go back to your fun-filled youth, you have definitely come to the right place. Welcome to Tropicana Nights.

So what are you waiting for? Book your tickets now and enjoy the party!

This is a 25+ event.

Nick Knowles & Neil Oliver
From:20-02-2022
To:20-02-2022
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For the first time, two of the most recognisable faces of British broadcasting will try and answer one of the most emotive and topical questions of our time, ‘Who are the British and how did we get to where we are now’?

What has gone before, keeps happening again, and the real price is always paid, in blood, sweat and tears, by the same people. It is overlooked and forgotten souls, who have always done the heavy lifting and bear the burden of history.

The Rocket Man - A Tribute to Sir Elton John
From:27-02-2022
To:27-02-2022
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Are you ready for Love?
Get ready for take-off as we bring you the number one tribute to one of the greatest musicians of all time, Sir Elton John!

Starring world-renowned tribute artist Jimmy Love, no one else recreates the flamboyant megastar with as much vigour and brilliance.

Join us as Jimmy and our amazing live band take you down the Yellow Brick Road with 2 hours of glorious Elton hits, from Crocodile Rock to Philadelphia Freedom and the beautiful Your Song to I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues. With Dazzling costumes, stunning vocals and sensational piano solos, this show has it all!

Sunday Lunch with Live Entertainment
From:06-03-2022
To:06-03-2022
+ More Info +

Enjoy a Sunday afternoon at the [Venue Name] enjoying a deliciously prepared three-course Sunday roast, all whilst being entertained by the UK’s top tribute artists.

Dance at your table to your favourite act or simply sit back, relax and take in the sound of our Sundays with Live Entertainment.

Bar open 11am
Sunday Lunch 12.30pm
Performance 1.30pm

Ray Mears We are Nature
From:11-03-2022
To:11-03-2022
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We need the Wilderness as much as the Wilderness needs us.

Recently we have learnt to value our green spaces more than ever.

In this fascinating, inspirational, and educational show, Ray will be demonstrating and explaining techniques that will help us improve our senses and highlight the problems nature faces today.

It is time to cease being frustrated and act now to prevent crimes against nature and the environment.

Come and celebrate the importance of the Wilderness to us all.

Omid Djalili The Good Times Tour
From:12-03-2022
To:12-03-2022
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After experimenting with a Zoom gig where he got muted by 639 people and a Drive-in gig where Omid witnessed an audience member get out his car, attach a hose pipe to his exhaust and feed it through the window; multi award-winning comedian and actor Omid Djalili is now where he belongs, on a stage and bringing back the Good Times.

Intelligent, always provocative, entertaining, Omid’s legendary stand-up performances is a captivating comedy masterclass. His credits range from Hollywood films to television and the West End stage.

Earning praise across the world for his performances, Omid is seen hosting his own ITV quiz show The Winning Combination. He appeared in the smash hit Mama Mia 2: Here We Go Again, His Dark Materials for BBC1 & HBO, and Letter For The King on Netflix. Omid also gained rave reviews for his leading role of Tevvye in the Chichester Festival Theatre production of “Fiddler On The Roof”.

Blues Brothers Dinner Dance
From:12-03-2022
To:12-03-2022
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Fancy a night out with a difference? Join us for one of our famous Dinner & Dance evenings.

Enjoy a glass of bubbly on arrival with fantastic live entertainment from our Blues Brothers – Committed Tribute then dance the night away with DJ John Watson.

A delicious three-course dinner is included in this great price!

The Blues Brothers – ‘Committed’ is the perfect mix of high energy Blues Brothers with favourites such as ‘Mustang Sally’ and ‘Try A Little Tenderness’ in this brilliant four-piece performance.

Firedance
From:13-03-2022
To:13-03-2022
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Starring Karen Hauer & Gorka Marquez

Hot pulsing beats, seductive choreography and passion that will take your breath away. With live Latin musicians and a dynamic dance ensemble, get ready for a captivating dance experience you strictly won’t want to miss.

Featuring iconic songs including - In the Air Tonight, Sway, Bad Romance, Sweet Dreams, Relight My Fire, Bamboleo and many more, Firedance is back and it’s the hottest ticket in town.

Fat Friends - The Musical
From:14-03-2022
To:19-03-2022
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The “weight’ is over! Fat Friends - The Musical is back and it’s going to be bigger and better than ever!

Following the massive success of its first outing, Kay Mellor’s Fat Friends - The Musical, returns to Dartford, starring West End and TV favourite, Lee Mead. This hugely entertaining musical is based on the hit TV show Fat Friends, that starred James Corden and Ruth Jones. Created and directed by the brilliant award winning Kay Mellor, (In the Club, Girlfriends, Band of Gold), whose latest hit series of The Syndicate has just run on BBC ONE and with original music and songs by Nicholas Lloyd Webber, Fat Friends - The Musical reunites our favourite foodie friends as they are put through their Zumba paces at their local slimming club, whilst Kelly fantasises about fitting into the wedding dress of her dreams.

The Circus Of Horrors
From:27-03-2022
To:27-03-2022
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The new Circus of Horrors show will be a celebration of the 25 years and will include an amazing amalgamation of acts, driven by a rock ‘n’ roll soundscape, a show that will have you sat on the edge of your seat when not falling off it with laughter.

The almighty cast that stormed into the finals of Britain’s Got Talent is now a West End & World Wide Hit will take you on a rock n’ roller coaster ride of amazing & Bizarre acts. It is a circus like no other and a show you simply can’t afford to miss.

Whether you are a Rock fan or theatre-goer The Circus of Horrors has something for everyone.

Some Guys Have All The Luck
From:29-03-2022
To:29-03-2022
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Over 50 years since the release of Rod’s first album, Some Guys Have All The Luck – The Rod Stewart Story is back in theatres in 2021 with a brand new show, bringing to the stage a fantastic live concert celebration of one of rock music’s greatest icons.

Frontman Paul Metcalfe is incredible as Rod and captures all the excitement, energy and charisma of the legendary performer including the infamous moves, showmanship and sense of fun that have made Rod one of the most successful artistes of all time.

The first half of the show features hits from Rod’s earlier career such as Handbags & Gladrags and You Wear It Well along with some Faces’ favourites like Stay With Me and Twisting The Night Away, all interwoven with some interesting and amusing anecdotes, and takes you on a musical journey through Rod’s career over the last five decades - from humble beginnings to superstardom.

Seven Drunken Nights
From:30-03-2022
To:30-03-2022
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Following sold-out smash hit tours, Seven Drunken Nights – The Story of The Dubliners returns to theatres with an even bigger production.

Direct from the West End, the show brings to life the music of Ireland’s favourite sons ‘The Dubliners’. Telling the story of a career spanning 50 years and evoking the spirit of Ronnie Drew, Luke Kelly, Barney McKenna, Jim McCann, Ciaran Bourke and John Sheahan. This talented cast of musicians and singers bring the music of this iconic group to life.

A performance that will have you singing and clapping along to such classics as The Wild Rover, The Black Velvet Band, The Irish Rover, Molly Malone, Finnegan’s Wake, McAlpines Fusileers, Raglan Road and of course The Seven Drunken Nights.

This celebration of the music of The Dubliners is a celebration of Irish music itself and a guaranteed evening of music, humor and ‘craic’.

Craig Revel Horwood
From:31-03-2022
To:31-03-2022
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The star of BBC1’s Strictly Come Dancing is taking to the road with his debut solo tour! Join Craig as he talks about his life from Australia to the West End to Strictly, reveals a wealth of backstage gossip with his trademark wit and candour, and gives a very special performance of some of the music which has been the soundtrack to his career.

A fab-u-lous evening of entertainment!

The Roy Orbison Story
From:01-04-2022
To:01-04-2022
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The one and only Barry Steele takes on the role of ‘The Big O,’ in The Roy Orbison Story®. He comes with great credentials and a genuine admiration for the Roy Orbison. Following his West End Debut at The Adelphi Theatre in The West End, Barry is set to put the rock back into ‘Roy Orbison’ as he takes to the stage to commemorate this legend in ‘The Roy Orbison Story’ In Concert.

Get ready for an upbeat night of solid gold hits and contemporary genius as Barry Steele and a cast of musicians and singers, celebrate & commemorates the musical legacy of The Big O and his friend.
Barry is joined on stage by the sensational guest pianist Boogie Williams as they present original material written but never sung by Roy Orbison and showcase elements of the symphonic orchestration first heard on the Hologram tour.

Menopause The Musical 2
From:04-04-2022
To:04-04-2022
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Starring Crissy Rock (Benidorm), Nicole Barber-Lane (Hollyoaks), Rebecca Wheatley (Casualty), and Nicki French (Eurovision), it’s our brand-new show, Cruising Through Menopause.

In the hysterical sequel to our smash-hit Menopause The Musical®, we fast forward five years to catch up with the same four characters for tales of their lives, loves and losses as they set off on the high seas.

Hot flushes, mood swings, memory lapses, weight gain - these are a few of our favourite menopausal things!

Cruising Through Menopause is a hilarious, heartfelt, reassuring and unflinching look at the joys of menopause and friendship.

When your life is a bumpy ride full of twists and turns, it’s hard to find true friends. But step on board and we’ll take you on a trip of self-discovery, love and friendship all backed by a soundtrack of brand-new toe-tapping parodied hits!


Zog and the Flying Doctors
From:06-04-2022
To:07-04-2022
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Zog, super keen student turned air-ambulance, still lands with a crash-bang-thump. Together with his Flying Doctor crew, Princess Pearl and Sir Gadabout, they tend to a sunburnt mermaid, a unicorn with one too many horns and a lion with the flu. However, Pearl’s uncle, the King, has other ideas about whether princesses should be doctors, and she’s soon locked up in the castle back in a crown and a silly frilly dress!

With a bit of help from some friends and half a pound of cheese, can Pearl make her uncle better and prove princesses can be doctors too?

Most suitable for ages 3+ but all ages welcome.

Johannes Radebe Freedom
From:08-04-2022
To:08-04-2022
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TV dancing sensation and international champion JOHANNES RADEBE is known for making a splash with his explosive routines on Strictly Come Dancing - his debut tour, FREEDOM, will be no exception!

JOHANNES RADEBE – FREEDOM is a celebration of the dances that you love, with Johannes’ signature flair and energy. From elegant Ballroom to fiery Latin, a company of exciting dancers will perform to classic dance arrangements, scorching South African rhythms and huge party anthems.

Johannes will take you on his journey from growing up in South Africa, to travelling the world, winning competitions and starring in Strictly’s most memorable numbers. Leave your inhibitions at the door and great ready for a night of energy, passion and FREEDOM in 2022.

Harry Redknapp
From:09-04-2022
To:09-04-2022
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I’m A Celebrity ... Get Me Out Of Here winner and famous football manager will be telling stories from his football days and his time in the jungle. Expect a hilarious evening, Harry Redknapp is a great raconteur and has a wealth of hilarious stories.

There will be an audience Q&A at the end of the evening.

Carmen
From:17-04-2022
To:17-04-2022
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Senbla presents Opera International’s award-winning Ellen Kent Production with international soloists, highly-praised chorus and full orchestra

Impassioned and sultry
The Observer
An evening of passion, sexual jealousy, death and unforgettable arias.

This dazzling production with orchestra features Bizet’s unforgettable melodies including ‘The Toreador’s Song’, Carmen’s enticing ‘Habanera’, and Don José’s lyrical ‘Flower Song’ in a setting evoking the stunning architecture of Seville and its main square with Roman and Moorish influences.

Chicago
From:19-04-2022
To:23-04-2022
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Set amidst the razzle-dazzle decadence of the 1920s, CHICAGO is the story of Roxie Hart, a housewife and nightclub dancer who murders her on-the-side lover after he threatens to walk out on her. Desperate to avoid conviction, she dupes the public, the media and her rival cellmate, Velma Kelly, by hiring Chicago’s slickest criminal lawyer to transform her malicious crime into a barrage of sensational headlines, the likes of which might just as easily be ripped from today’s tabloids.

Created by the musical theatre talents of John Kander, Fred Ebb and legendary choreographer Bob Fosse, CHICAGO’s sexy, sassy score includes the show-stopping songs “Razzle Dazzle”, “Cell Block Tango”, and “All That Jazz”. Winner of six Tony Awards, two Olivier Awards and a Grammy, CHICAGO is the longest-running American musical in Broadway and West End history.

Animals & Friends The Farewell Tour
From:24-04-2022
To:24-04-2022
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The Animals were one of the most iconic Pop, Rhythm and Blues bands of the 1960’s. They had over 20 Global Top Ten Hits, and remain a seminal rhythm and blues band who still commands great respect.

Featuring two original Members, founding member JOHN STEEL on Drums and MICKEY GALLAGHER, who replaced Alan Price in 1965 on keyboards.

The gave us such huge hits such as “We Gotta Get Out Of This Place”, “Don’t Bring Me Down”, “Baby, Let Me Take You Home”, “Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood” and their multi million selling anthem…..”HOUSE OF THE RISING SUN”

Now on their Farewell Tour, Hear all the hits and more, songs from Ray Charles, John Lee Hooker, etc.

A night of nostalgia, great memories with great Hits, Not To Be Missed!!

Sandi Toksvig Live! Next Slide Please ...
From:08-05-2022
To:08-05-2022
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Following the sell-out 2019 tour of National Trevor, the comedian, broadcaster, writer, campaigner and all-round good egg, returns to over 35 UK theatres with her brand-new show, Next Slide Please ...

In an evening of warmth, love and laughter, Sandi will explore reasons to be cheerful after many long months of coronacoaster gloom. Expect fascinatingly funny facts, silly jokes, a quick-fire Q&A and possibly a game of Covid Lingo Bingo. (Don’t expect handstands, ministerial behaviour or impressions of Chris Whitty)

Book early!

Dreamboats & Petticoats
From:15-05-2022
To:15-05-2022
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1950s heartthrob Marty Wilde takes to the road again in Dreamboats and Petticoats - Music that Lives Forever! Joining Marty are pals Eden Kane and Mark Wynter with special guest Roxy Wilde and his long serving band, The Wildcats.

The late fifties and early sixties were without doubt some of the most exciting and important years in the history of music. With the arrival of rock n’ roll, a whole new pop culture was born. Performing their own hits and collaborating live on stage, Marty, Eden and Mark, the original teen idols, show us how rock n’ roll with its fusion of sound and rhythm shaped the style of music that we listened to then and still do today.

Rumours of Fleetwood Mac
From:16-05-2022
To:16-05-2022
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Rumours of Fleetwood Mac, the world’s finest tribute to Fleetwood Mac, returns to the stage in 2022 with a brand-new show celebrating the very best of Fleetwood Mac, including a very special blues set paying tribute to Fleetwood Mac’s legendary Peter Green era.

Channelling the spirit of Fleetwood Mac at their very best, Rumours of Fleetwood Mac offers a unique opportunity for fans, both old and new, to rediscover the songs and performances that have ensured Fleetwood Mac’s place as one of the most loved groups of all time.

Personally endorsed by Fleetwood Mac founding member, Mick Fleetwood, Rumours of Fleetwood Mac is the ultimate tribute to one of rock and roll’s most remarkable groups.

Tony Hadley 40th Anniversary UK Tour
From:17-05-2022
To:17-05-2022
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Celebrating four decades since Tony first released music with his former band Spandau Ballet (originally planned for 2020), the tour, which will see Tony perform with his band ‘The Fabulous TH Band’, will call at 36 dates across the country, beginning on 1st March in Bexhill, and concluding at the Blackpool Opera House on 27th May.

Tony’s unmistakeable voice still brims with passion and urgency as it first did all those years ago. Fitting for what will be a big celebration of one of the biggest voices in pop, Tony will perform tracks from across his career both as the voice of Spandau Ballet, and as a solo artist.

From his beginnings at the forefront of the New Romantic movement, Tony earned himself the accolade of being one of pop’s greatest vocalists. Spandau Ballet had numerous chart-topping singles and albums all over the world, including the epic “Through the Barricades”, the international number one “True”, and the unofficial London Olympics theme “Gold”.

The Matt Monro Story
From:18-05-2022
To:18-05-2022
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“The singer’s singer”

Celebrating the life and music of the legendary Matt Monro.

The Matt Monro Story is an inspired and unforgettable show. a unique evening of music, warmth and love, keeping the memory of his music alive.

From ‘born free’ to ‘walk away’ to ‘portrait of my love’ be prepared to be transported in time by this tribute to one of Britain’s most popular and endearing singers named “the singer’s singer” by his peers.

The show is enhanced by audiovisual and narration

School of Rock
From:23-05-2022
To:28-05-2022
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School of Rock is the global hit musical based on the iconic movie starring Jack Black. Wannabe rock star Dewey Finn is cast out by his dive-bar bandmates and finds himself in desperate need of cash. Posing as a substitute music teacher at an elite prep school, he exposes his students to the rock gods he idolises, transforming them into a mind-blowing rock band. While teaching these pint-sized prodigies what it means to truly rock out, Dewey falls for the school’s beautiful, but uptight headmistress, Miss Mullins, helping her rediscover the wild child within. But, will they all find redemption at the battle of the bands?

Featuring 14 new songs from Andrew Lloyd Webber, all the original songs from the movie, and a band of insanely talented kids that play live every show, School of Rock will warm your heart and blow you away in equal measure.

Don’t miss out! Book your tickets today to see the hit musical that everyone’s raving about.

Josh Widdicombe Bit Much…
From:30-05-2022
To:30-05-2022
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The guy everyone can do an impression of is back with a brand-new stand-up tour.

A show that will change your life and how you perceive your place in the world. Bit much? Fine, it’ll be a very funny night of grumbles and jokes in which Josh will finally tackle the hot comedy topics of advent calendars, pesto and the closing time of his local park.

Widdicombe is best known for the twice BAFTA nominated and multiple Broadcast and RTS award-winning show The Last Leg, as well as his critically acclaimed sitcom JOSH, Insert Name Here, QI, Have I Got New For You, A League of Their Own and his hit podcast Quickly Kevin Will He Score.

Walk Right Back
From:31-05-2022
To:31-05-2022
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After phenomenal sell out tours, Walk Right Back is…BACK! From the Producers of That’ll be the Day, the show tells the story of the most successful duo of all time - The Everly Brothers.

Featuring hits such as Bye Bye Love, All I Have To Do Is Dream and Cathy’s Clown, this unique concert-based musical entwines the wonderful, sad yet glorious story of The Everly Brothers around those trademark “harmonies from heaven”.

Follow the brothers rise to fame, through their decade-long feud to the glorious reunion that gave them back to the world, and back to each other.

Jools Holland & his Rhythm & Blues Orchestra
From:01-06-2022
To:01-06-2022
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Jools Holland OBE DL was born Julian Miles Holland on 24th January 1958 in Blackheath, South East London.

At the age of eight, he could play the piano fluently by ear, and by the time he reached his early teens he was proficient and confident enough to be appearing regularly in many of the pubs in South East London and the East End Docks.

At the age of 15, Jools was introduced to Glenn Tilbrook and Chris Difford; together they formed Squeeze, and shortly afterwards they were joined by Gilson Lavis (who had already played with, among others, B.B. King, Chuck Berry, and Max Wall) – who still drums with Jools.

Up The Junction and Cool For Cats gave Squeeze meteoric success and their popularity rapidly extended to America, where their tour included performances at New York’s Madison Square Garden.

Islands In The Stream
From:02-06-2022
To:02-06-2022
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Enjoy the songs of the Queen and King of country music - Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers.

Leave your 9 to 5 worries at the door and get ready for a night in the company of Country Music Royalty!

This thigh-slapping stage show brings together the beloved glamour and personality of Dolly, along with Kenny’s charisma and energy with hit after hit including: Jolene, Ruby, 9 to 5, Lucille, Here You Come Again, The Gambler, I Will Always Love You, Coward of the Country, plus the smash hit Islands in the Stream.

Enjoy a superb score and supreme musicianship as we bring the house down with the ultimate tribute to two country music legends.

Oti Mabuse
From:04-06-2022
To:04-06-2022
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Strictly Come Dancing and The Greatest Dancer reigning champion Oti Mabuse is creating a show like no other in 2021.

Prepare for a night of electrifying choreography as Oti is joined by some of the world’s greatest dancers and the West End’s finest singers and musicians.

Oti Mabuse - I Am Here is a whirlwind celebration of the influences and inspirations that took her on a journey from growing up in South Africa to following her dream. From mesmerising Jives and pumping Sambas to South Africa’s exhilarating Kwaito, this is an explosive night of dance and music that will set your heart racing.

Shalamar
From:05-06-2022
To:05-06-2022
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As Shalamar, Howard Hewitt and Jeffrey Daniel sold over 25 million records worldwide and collected no less than 100 gold, silver and platinum awards. Howard and Jeffrey, together with Carolyn Griffey – the daughter of Solar Records founder Dick Griffey, bring an exciting blend of funk, disco and soul to every live show. One of the most powerful and energetic acts on the circuit today.

As noted in the British Hit Singles & Albums, Shalamar were regarded as fashion icons and trendsetters, and helped to introduce ‘body-popping’ to the United Kingdom. Jeffrey Daniel brought street dance to the UK – he is noted as the dance mentor for Michael Jackson and the man that taught him the moonwalk. Howard Hewett is a one of the most iconic US soul artistes of all time, releasing numerous solo albums and collaborating or performing with some of the greats including Stevie Wonder, George Duke, Earth, Wind and Fire, Teena Marie, Anita Baker, Dionne Warwick, Deniece Williams, El Debarge.

Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em
From:07-06-2022
To:11-06-2022
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Following the unprecedented response to hit 2018 tour, receiving twenty-one 5-star reviews, the new stage version of Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em is back by popular demand and will come to Dartford!

Hilarious mishaps and DIY disasters are bringing the house down, quite literally, as Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em hits the road with Joe Pasquale (New Faces, I’m a Celebrity, Spamalot, The Producers) as the lovable accident-prone Frank Spencer.

Betty has exciting news for Frank, but he’s preoccupied by possible newfound fame as a magician. With guests arriving for dinner and crossed wires all round, priceless misunderstandings are on the menu.

Susie Blake (Coronation Street, The Victoria Wood Show, Blithe Spirit) stars as his disapproving Mother-in-Law and Sarah Earnshaw as his long-suffering wife Betty.

The Da Vinci Code
From:13-06-2022
To:18-06-2022
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Can you crack the code and solve a centuries-old mystery?

The curator of the Louvre has been brutally murdered, and alongside his body are a series of baffling codes. Follow the pulse-racing journey as Professor Robert Langdon and fellow cryptologist Sophie Neveu attempt to solve the riddles, leading to the works of Leonardo Da Vinci and beyond, deep into the vault of history. In a breathless race through the streets of Europe, Langdon and Neveu must decipher the labyrinthine code before a shocking historical secret is lost forever.

Based on the best-selling novel of this century, with over 100 million copies sold, unlock the secrets of THE DA VINCI CODE in the world premiere stage adaptation of the international phenomenon. Translated into over 50 different languages, with author Dan Brown named as one of Time’s 100 most influential people and adapted into a smash-hit movie that grossed over $750 million, THE DA VINCI CODE surprises at every twist.

Thriller Live
From:27-06-2022
To:02-07-2022
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Direct from London’s West End where it is now in its record breaking 9th year, Thriller Live is a spectacular concert created to celebrate the career of the world’s greatest entertainer.

Seen by over 4 million people in over 30 countries, Thriller Live continues to moonwalk around the world, taking you on a visual, audio and electrifying journey through the magic of Michael’s 45-year musical history.

You will experience over two hours of non-stop hits from pop to rock, soul to disco as the cast pay homage to Jackson’s legendary live performances and innovative dance moves executed with flair, precision and passion, this is a show that you will never forget.

Expect your favourite songs delivered by an exceptionally talented cast and band, including: I Want You Back, ABC, Can You Feel It, Off The Wall, The Way You Make Me Feel, Smooth Criminal, Beat It, Billie Jean, Dirty Diana, Bad, Rock With You, They Don’t Care About Us, Dangerous and Thriller plus many more!

Waitress
From:04-07-2022
To:09-07-2022
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“Treat yourself to a slice of five-star musical pie” (The Times) as Lucie Jones (Waitress, Les Misérables, Ghost the Musical, Legally Blonde) reprises her role of Jenna in the hit musical comedy WAITRESS.

Meet Jenna, a waitress and expert pie-maker who dreams of some happiness in her life. When a hot new doctor arrives in town, life gets complicated. With the support of her workmates Becky and Dawn, Jenna overcomes the challenges she faces and finds that laughter, love and friendship can provide the perfect recipe for happiness.

Brought to life by a ground-breaking, female-led creative team, this ‘warm, witty, wise and hilarious’ (EXPRESS) hit features ‘one of the best scores in years’ (THE STAGE) by the Grammy award-winning Sara Bareilles (Love Song, Brave) a book by acclaimed screenwriter Jessie Nelson (I Am Sam) and direction by Tony® Award-winner Diane Paulus (Pippin, Finding Neverland).

The Johnny Cash Roadshow
From:12-07-2022
To:12-07-2022
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Only show to be endorsed by the Cash Family! The Johnny Cash Roadshow is back on top form for 2022 with a brand new show. This year award winning Clive John pays homage to Cash’s Career as the Man In Black, alongside his iconic Wife June Carter played by Emily Heighway the Roadshow Horns, and on selected shows The ‘Carter Sisters’.

With all the hits such as Man in Black, Walk the Line, Ring of Fire, Boy Named Sue along-side some of the darker more atmospheric songs from the later American Recordings such as The Man Comes Around and Hurt making this year’s show an emotional roller-coaster of songs through Cash’s career, packed together in one fantastic evening’s entertainment.

With standing ovations every night The Johnny Cash Roadshow is the biggest and best celebration of Johnny Cash in the world today guaranteed to leave you wanting more.

Jason Manford Like Me
From:13-07-2022
To:13-07-2022
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He’s back! It’s been a busy few years for Jason since his last smash-hit stand up show but fans of his Absolute Radio show will know this nationally acclaimed comedian hasn’t changed a bit. ‘Like Me’ is Jason’s latest comic offering set to hit the road, and is sure to be ‘expert observational comedy’ (The Guardian) mixed with ‘comic gold’ (Mail on Sunday).

Jason said: “After the fun we had on my last tour ‘Muddle Class’, I’m excited to get back on the road with my new stand up show, ‘Like Me’. In these trying times it’s always important to be able to get away for a couple of hours and exercise the old chuckle muscle! So I’m coming to a venue near you in 2022 so we can have a good laugh together. See you then.”

The Carpenters Story
From:14-07-2022
To:14-07-2022
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A musical journey through the glittering career of pop’s most famous brother and sister duo.

This highly acclaimed production continues to captivate audiences across the UK with its spectacular celebration of the classic songbook that made The Carpenters a legend in the world of popular music, selling over 100 million albums and singles.

This brand new show for 2020 once again features the outstanding vocal talents of Claire Furley, with Musical Director Phil Aldridge leading The Carpenters Story Orchestra as they re-create Richard Carpenter’s original orchestral arrangements.

Featuring all of the Carpenters hit songs including Close To You, Top of the World, We’ve Only Just Begun, Rainy Days & Mondays, Goodbye to Love and many more!

The ELO Experience
From:20-07-2022
To:20-07-2022
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The legacy left by Jeff Lynne & The Electric Light Orchestra barely needs any introduction – suffice to say that between 1972 and 1986 they achieved more combined UK and US Top 40 hits than any other band on the planet! ‘10538 Overture’, ‘Evil Woman’, ‘Living Thing’, ‘Diary of Horace Wimp’, Don’t Bring me Down’ and of course ‘Mr Blue Sky’ went on to become the soundtrack of our lives.

In 2016 Jeff Lynne’s ELO came back to prominence with the release of a brand new album - Alone In The Universe and a UK and World tour. The ELO Experience tour will included the greatest hits from an extensive and impressive back catalogue spanning over 45 years. Blending rock rhythms with classical influences, ELO also released many classic albums such as ‘A New World Record’, ‘Discovery’ and ‘Out of the Blue’, and many sell-out tours which further established them as one of the most important and influential bands ever.

What’s Love Got To Do With It
From:21-07-2022
To:21-07-2022
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Brought to you by the award-winning producers behind the hugely successful Whitney - Queen Of The Night, What’s Love Got To Do With It? is the ultimate tribute concert paying homage to one of the most iconic and much loved musical artists of the 20th Century.

In this smash-hit touring theatre show, expect a night of high energy, feel-good rock-and-roll featuring Tina’s greatest hits performed by the amazing vocal talent of Elesha Paul Moses (Whitney - Queen Of The Night, The Voice, X Factor) supported by a full live band.

Looking back on a breath-taking career spanning more than 50 years, audiences will enjoy hearing stunning musical arrangements of Tina’s most-loved classic hits including Private Dancer, What’s Love Got To Do With It?, Proud Mary, River Deep, Nutbush City Limits, Simply The Best and many more. This not-to-be missed musical experience is a stunning celebration of one of the greatest female singers of our time.

Showaddywaddy
From:22-07-2022
To:22-07-2022
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‘The Greatest Rock & Roll Band In The World’ is a bold statement but Showaddywaddy has lived up to that title for the last 4 decades!

Formed in the 1970s in Leicester from several local bands, they have sold more than 20 million records and have toured all corners of the World extensively.
Their live show is dynamic and uplifting featuring all of their biggest hits, many of which reached number one in the pop charts of Europe.

‘Under The Moon of Love’, ‘Three Steps to Heaven’, ‘Hey Rock & Roll’, ‘When’, ‘Blue Moon’, ‘Pretty Little Angel Eyes’ and many, many more. So come and join the ‘Dancin’ Party’… ‘You’ve Got What It Takes’!

Richard and Adam
From:25-07-2022
To:25-07-2022
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Welsh brothers Richard and Adam first burst onto the nation’s TV screens on Britain’s Got Talent, making it to the final in 2013 performing their classical crossover version of ‘The Impossible Dream’. The show established them as two of the greatest vocalists singing opera in this country.

They credit their ‘Nan’ as being their biggest influence. When they were young, she played music by Caruso, Mario Lanza and The Three Tenors and she encouraged them to sing along, building their confidence and encouraging them to follow an opera career. They honed their craft, playing live gigs and performing with the Birkenhead Operatic Society. When they won a local talent competition, the offers came flooding in and they began performing professionally on cruise lines before their big break on Britain’s Got Talent.

Derren Brown Showman
From:08-08-2022
To:14-08-2022
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Derren Brown returns to the stage with his brand-new live show!

The multi award-winning master of mind control and psychological illusion, Derren Brown, is at his very best on stage. His one-man shows have received wide critical acclaim and more Olivier wins and nominations than any other in history!

Now with his first brand new theatre show in six years, Derren Brown returns to astonish and amaze audiences up and down the country. The content of Showman remains a closely-guarded secret, but if you’ve seen him before, you know you’re in for a powerhouse treat!

"We were all ready to open Showman when the tour had to be postponed. Now, after sitting around in my pants for months I am so, so eager to get this show on the road. I’m hugely grateful to everyone who bought tickets and then was told they had to wait. Let’s get together and have hug and a party."

Big Girls Don’t Cry
From:11-09-2022
To:11-09-2022
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Step back in time, to the era of romance.

Celebrating a decade of Big Girls Don’t Cry and featuring The East Coast Boys, experience the iconic sounds of Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons authentically recreated by a phenomenal cast and live band.

During the 60’s and 70’s, Number One hits Sherry, December 1963 (Oh What a Night), Walk Like a Man, Rag Doll and Big Girls Don’t Cry helped to propel the Four Seasons and Frankie Valli to super stardom.

After selling an incredible 100 million records worldwide, there’s a Four Seasons song that shares a special place in everyone’s heart. This internationally acclaimed show authentically revives the sublime harmonies of New Jersey’s finest.

Showcasing Frankie’s incredible falsettos, the show features solo hits like Grease, Let’s Hang On, Working My Way Back to You, Beggin’, I’ve Got You Under My Skin, and Who Loves You.

Fanny Galore’s Big Bingo Party
From:12-09-2022
To:12-09-2022
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Join us for a fun game with of delicious food, bubbles (non-alcoholic options available) bingo and of course your hostess with the mostest Fanny Galore, our favourite drag queen.

Get those dabbers ready , it could be lucky for some! Eyes down for a full house with Fanny Galore’s Big Bingo Party!

The Take That Experience
From:18-09-2022
To:18-09-2022
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As Take That celebrate 30 years as the UK’s number one boy band, The Take That Experience mark over a decade together as the ultimate tribute act with their best show yet!

Wowing audiences everywhere they go with their amazing vocals, replica costumes and electrifying dance routines, they continue to successfully recreate the magic of Take That with the ‘Greatest Hits Tour’.

The Take That Experience bring you all the classic songs you know and love from the 90s through to the present, including smash hits Pray, Relight My Fire, Patience, Shine, These Days and Giants!

The show also features a tribute to the one and only “Robbie Williams” who brings alive fan favourite songs Angels, Rock DJ and Candy to an already explosive show!

The boys don’t just give you a night you’ll Never Forget… they give you The Take That Experience!

The Cher Show
From:20-09-2022
To:24-09-2022
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Six decades of stardom, over a hundred million records sold. Legend, icon, Queen. She is Cher and this is her show.

Goddess warrior of pop turned Hollywood royalty, the Grammy®, Oscar®, Emmy® and Golden Globe® award-winning Queen of re-invention has conquered it all. It’s now time to turn back time with this fiercely fabulous kick-ass new musical, from the writer of Jersey Boys, to honour the original Queen of sass – the inimitable Cher.

From a young kid with big dreams to the dizzying heights of global stardom, The Cher Show tells the incredible story of Cher’s meteoric rise to fame, flying in the face of convention at every turn.

In a dazzling glitter fest of flamboyant glory, sparkling with Cher’s signature wit and style, you’ll be spinning in the aisles to the sounds of her biggest hits, including The Shoop Shoop Song, I Got You Babe, Turn Back Time, Strong Enough and Believe . A joyous party musical celebrating independence and individuality.

Strike A Pose
From:17-10-2022
To:17-10-2022
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STRIKE A POSE!

Starring:
- Drag royalty Trinity The Tuck, the face, the body, all the way from the USA
- Divina De Campo, the UK’s very own triple threat Drag superstar
- Jujubee, international singing sensation and goddess of glamour

Three of the fiercest Drag stars from both sides of the pond take to the stage in this all-singing, all-dancing sickening live spectacular! Our Queens tear up the floor in this jaw-dropping celebration of pops greatest divas.
Join TRINITY - DIVINA - JUJUBEE and a multitalented supporting cast as they WERK iconic hits made famous by the greatest Divas of all time, including Britney, Madonna, Beyoncé, Cher, Rihanna, Judy, Liza, Whitney, Gaga and Ariana. Off-the-hook costumes, insane live vocals and killer choreography will leave you gagging for more.
LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE AND GET READY TO STRIKE A POSE! IN 2022

10CC
From:18-10-2022
To:18-10-2022
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The band will be performing the hits which have singled them out as one of the most inventive and influential bands in the history of popular music.

Marking the 45th anniversary of the release of their mega-hit I’m Not In Love, which landed the band a top 5 single in 10 countries and spawned a No 1 album in the US.

Led by co-founder Graham Gouldman, the art-pop band are heralded in equal measure for their ability to craft ingenious songs that also resonated commercially, with eleven top 10 hits, and over 15 million albums sold in the UK alone. The group also have three No 1 singles to their name – Rubber Bullets, Dreadlock Holiday and I’m Not In Love.

The line-up features Gouldman (bass, guitar, vocals), Rick Fenn (lead guitar, bass, vocals), Paul Burgess (drums, percussion) – both of whom have been with the band since the early years - Keith Hayman (keyboards, guitars, bass, vocals) and Iain Hornal (vocals, percussion, guitar, keyboards).

Friendsical
From:27-10-2022
To:29-10-2022
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Friendsical is an original and unique new parody musical inspired by the gang in Friends, the iconic TV show.

When Ross’s wife leaves him for another woman, he fears he will never find love again. But then Rachel runs back into his life… will he end up with his one true love?

With original new songs such as ‘(He’s her) Lobster!’, ‘Richard’s Moustache’ and ‘You’re Over Me, When Were You Under Me?’, the gang take on naked Thursdays, a power cut and a dinosaur convention! What could possibly go wrong?

The Osmonds
From:15-11-2022
To:19-11-2022
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You Loved Them For A Reason. Now, for the first time, you can see this sensational new musical and relive one of the world’s biggest ever boybands.

THE OSMONDS: A new musical tells the official true story of the five brothers from Utah who were pushed into the spotlight as children and went on to create smash hits decade after decade.

From their star residency on The Andy Williams Show, to the arrival of Donny and Marie, The Osmonds lived a remarkable life recording chart-topping albums, selling out vast arena concerts and making record-breaking TV shows - until one bad decision cost them everything.

Featuring a chart-topping list of anthems including Love Me For A Reason, Crazy Horses, Let Me In, Puppy Love, Long Haired Lover From Liverpool, Paper Roses and many more, THE OSMONDS: A New Musical will take you back to the relive 60s ... the 70s ... the 80s ...

We’re Having a Party and you’re invited to join us for this night of drama, nostalgia and dancing in the aisles.

Sarah Millican
From:30-11-2022
To:01-12-2022
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The hilarious Sarah Millican is back on tour with a Bobby Dazzler of a new stand-up show.

In this, her sixth international tour, you’ll learn about what happens when your mouth seals shut, how to throw poo over a wall, trying to lose weight but only losing the tip of your finger, a surprisingly funny smear test, and how truly awful a floatation tank can actually be.

Sarah has spent the last year writing jokes and growing her backside. She can’t wait to get back on the road and make you laugh.

The Classic Rock Show
From:07-02-2023
To:07-02-2023
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After an eighteen month break due to the global Coronavirus pandemic The Classic Rock Show is back, bigger and even better, celebrating the very best-of-the-best of Classic Rock.
Paying tribute to its favourite rock heroes CRS thunders through legendary performances from the likes of Led Zeppelin, Dire Straits, Steely Dan, Eric Clapton, AC/DC, Queen, The Eagles, Fleetwood Mac, The Who and many many more.

Performed with note-for-note precision, bringing the original iconic and era defining recordings back to life on stage, with a sound and light show to match.
Anthem after anthem, riff after riff and solo after solo, culminating in a show-stopping guitar duel that is definitely not to be missed.

Sister Act
From:06-02-2023
To:11-02-2023
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Brace yourselves Sisters!

The Broadway and UK smash-hit musical Sister Act is coming to Dartford!

Now set in the present day, this sparkling tribute to the universal power of friendship, sisterhood and music tells the hilarious story of the disco diva whose life takes a surprising turn when she witnesses a murder. Under protective custody she is hidden in the one place she won’t be found – a convent! Disguised as a nun and under the suspicious watch of Mother Superior, Deloris helps her fellow sisters find their voices as she unexpectedly rediscovers her own.

Featuring original music by Tony® and 8-time Oscar® winner Alan Menken (Disney’s Aladdin, Enchanted) and songs inspired by Motown, soul and disco, this joyous and hilarious musical is one nostalgia-filled trip you will never forget.

Midnight Train To Georgia
From:03-03-2023
To:03-03-2023
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One of the greatest female soul legends in music history, Gladys Knight boasts 11 No.1 singles, 6 No.1 albums, 7 Grammy Awards and a place along with The Pips in the prestigious Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.

Today, Hayley-Ria Christian is internationally renowned as the world’s foremost tribute to the ‘Empress of Soul’. In this stunning new production her outstanding vocal harmonies, along with a full live band and video projection, recreate the stage magic and Motown phenomenon that was Gladys Knight & The Pips.

Featuring all of the soul divas classic hits including Baby Don't Change Your Mind, Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me, The Way We Were / Try To Remember, Licence To Kill, her signature song Midnight Train To Georgia and many more!

The Commitments
From:13-03-2023
To:18-03-2023
+ More Info +

The Commitments is a fantastically feel good celebration of soul. Returning to tour the UK and Ireland, 5 years after a phenomenally successful, record-breaking run in London’s West End subsequent sell-out tour, The Commitments is based on the BAFTA award-winning film classic.

The Commitments received universal critical acclaim following its London World Premiere and was quickly hailed as a smash hit musical sensation. With over 20 soul classics performed live on stage including: Night Train, Try A Little Tenderness, River Deep, Mountain High, In The Midnight Hour, Papa Was A Rolling Stone, Save Me, Mustang Sally, I Heard It Through The Grapevine, Thin Line Between Love and Hate, Reach Out, Uptight, Knock On Wood, I Can’t Turn You Loose and more!

A guaranteed fabulously-fun night out you will simply never forget.

The Commitments musical has been adapted from the novel by Booker prize winning author Roddy Doyle himself and is directed by Caroline Jay Ranger.

The Thunder Girls
From:25-04-2023
To:29-04-2023
+ More Info +

Fame and greed tore their friendship apart, they haven’t spoken in decades…

Ever wondered what goes on behind closed doors when legendary bands meet up to discuss a reunion? What’s really going on behind the hugs and kisses at those reunion press conferences?

The Thunder Girls were a successful ‘80s girl band until lead singer, Chrissie, sensationally quit the Band to pursue a solo career taking with her, Rick, the Band’s manager. Chrissie broke the Girl Code as Rick was also the boyfriend of Band mate, Roxanne.

At the reunion dinner from hell, Chrissie tries to reunite the band to salvage herself from bankruptcy after being conned out of her fortune by her toyboy husband. Is there a price that will heal the deepest of wounds? And 30 years later, can lightning strike twice? Some friendships never die, even if you want them to…

Transport

By Train - The Orchard Theatre is situated in Dartford town centre with Dartford railway station just two minutes' walk-away. There are direct trains from South East London and Kent.

By Car - Easily reached by car, The Orchard Theatre is well sign-posted on all local routes into Dartford. From the A2 and M25 follow signs for Dartford Town Centre.

Parking

The Orchard Theatre recommends the following local car parks that could be used during your visit to the theatre:

Pre-Show Dining, Theatre & Events
Dartford Borough Council Car Park (DA1 1BP) – Free after 5pm Monday to Friday and a short walk over the footbridge.

Theatre & Events
Station Car Park (DA1 1BP) – £1.50 after 6pm Monday to Friday. £4 for all day parking on a Saturday and £1 on a Sunday.

Theatre & Events
Westgate Car Park (DA1 2AJ) – £1 after 6:30pm Monday to Friday, free after 6.30pm on a Saturday and free all day on a Sunday.

Restaurant

Just footsteps from your auditorium seat, The Orchard Theatre is proud to shout about The Restaurant. Enjoy a mouth-watering meal, prepared by our talented chefs using fresh, seasonal produce. Our wine list compliments our dishes perfectly and boasts local wines from Biddenden Vineyard.

You won't have to worry about getting to the show in time! The Restaurant is open prior to most performances, but spaces are limited, so reserve your table today.

Bar

Serving a selection of quality wines, spirits and beers, our bars are open one and a half hours before the performance, so you can enjoy a relaxing drink.

Order your interval drinks before the show and they will be waiting for you - no need to queue at the bar.

Access Info

For detailed access information please visit the theatre's access page: orchardtheatre.co.uk/Online/otAccessibility

The Orchard Theatre is the main theatre of Dartford, Kent, located at the heart of its town centre. This large 956-seat theatre opened its doors on 14th April 1983 and receives some of the best touring companies in the UK.

The Orchard Theatre was built by Dartford Borough Council to provide the community with high-quality theatre and to encourage them to be involved with the arts. It was officially opened by special guest, His Royal Highness The Duke of Kent, in 1983. Since its beginnings the venue has seen numerous successful touring companies grace its stage, presenting popular musicals, comedies, dance pieces, drama, classical music and variety events.

The venue is at the heart of Dartford town centre and its public. It runs various programmes specially to involve local youth with the theatrical arts; this includes having its own drama group and choir (called Orchard Theatre Drama and Orchard Theatre Choir), running summer youth workshops, young writers’ classes, and family days. The commitment to children in the area is also shown by the successful pantomime which is held each year around the Christmas period.

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