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The Orchard Theatre
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The Orchard Theatre

Home Gardens, Dartford, Kent, DA1 1ED
0343 310 0033

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What's On Highlights

80’s Mania
From:29-09-2022
To:29-09-2022
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Europe’s Official Long-Standing Premier 1980’s Multi-Tribute Concert Show!
28 chart-topping artistes from the 80’s are authentically recreated to look and sound as they did back in the day with a full live band, awesome dancers, mind-blowing lasers and light design combined with huge video projection complete the production together with over 150 costumes!
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Kim Wilde, Duran Duran, Adam Ant, Boy George, Wham, Erasure, Soft Cell, the Human League, Dead or Alive, Nena, Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, Gary Numan, and Tony Hadley are just some of the stars you will witness in this high energy, fast paced, party style show!

Fancy dress is highly encouraged and ladies, dancing around your handbags is a must!!!

So, it’s time to dig out your 80’s fashions and Party!

Radio 1, Top of the Pops celebrity, Mike Read, endorses the show and we quote, says
“ITS LIKE TOP OF THE POPS MEETS LIVE AID”

Strike A Pose
From:17-10-2022
To:17-10-2022
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STRIKE A POSE!

Starring:
- Drag royalty Trinity The Tuck, the face, the body, all the way from the USA
- Divina De Campo, the UK’s very own triple threat Drag superstar
- Jujubee, international singing sensation and goddess of glamour

Three of the fiercest Drag stars from both sides of the pond take to the stage in this all-singing, all-dancing sickening live spectacular! Our Queens tear up the floor in this jaw-dropping celebration of pops greatest divas.
Join TRINITY - DIVINA - JUJUBEE and a multitalented supporting cast as they WERK iconic hits made famous by the greatest Divas of all time, including Britney, Madonna, Beyoncé, Cher, Rihanna, Judy, Liza, Whitney, Gaga and Ariana. Off-the-hook costumes, insane live vocals and killer choreography will leave you gagging for more.
LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE AND GET READY TO STRIKE A POSE! IN 2022

10CC
From:18-10-2022
To:18-10-2022
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The band will be performing the hits which have singled them out as one of the most inventive and influential bands in the history of popular music.

Marking the 45th anniversary of the release of their mega-hit I’m Not In Love, which landed the band a top 5 single in 10 countries and spawned a No 1 album in the US.

Led by co-founder Graham Gouldman, the art-pop band are heralded in equal measure for their ability to craft ingenious songs that also resonated commercially, with eleven top 10 hits, and over 15 million albums sold in the UK alone. The group also have three No 1 singles to their name – Rubber Bullets, Dreadlock Holiday and I’m Not In Love.

The line-up features Gouldman (bass, guitar, vocals), Rick Fenn (lead guitar, bass, vocals), Paul Burgess (drums, percussion) – both of whom have been with the band since the early years - Keith Hayman (keyboards, guitars, bass, vocals) and Iain Hornal (vocals, percussion, guitar, keyboards).

Al Murray - The Pub Lanlord: Gig For Victory
From:26-10-2022
To:26-10-2022
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Get ready for a hilarious night with the Pub Landloard, a character that has existed in Al Murray’s repertoire for more than 20 years. In that time he’s played to millions of fans across the world, and featured in programmes like Time Gentlemen Please and Al Murray’s Happy Hour.

In Gig For Victory, you can expect to hear Murray’s unique take on subjects as wide-reaching as Brexit, Boris Johnson and much more with his typically side-splitting jokes.

Wherever you are, the Pub Landord will - within sensible travel limits and theatre booking policy - come, offering people thirsty for common sense a full pint of the good stuff.

Friendsical
From:27-10-2022
To:29-10-2022
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Friendsical is an original and unique new parody musical inspired by the gang in Friends, the iconic TV show.

When Ross’s wife leaves him for another woman, he fears he will never find love again. But then Rachel runs back into his life… will he end up with his one true love?

With original new songs such as ‘(He’s her) Lobster!’, ‘Richard’s Moustache’ and ‘You’re Over Me, When Were You Under Me?’, the gang take on naked Thursdays, a power cut and a dinosaur convention! What could possibly go wrong?

Boyzlife
From:30-10-2022
To:30-10-2022
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Boyzlife bring their ‘Old School’ headline tour to Dartford, which will see the band perform new songs from their upcoming original material studio album, ‘Old School’, due on May 6 and classic hits from Boyzone and Westlife. The duo will be backed by a full live band and audiences can expect to hear their recent and first original single ‘The One’. The hit maker duo will also perform many of their greatest hits, from a catalogue which includes a record breaking eighteen No.1 singles and nine No.1 albums - plus combined record sales of more than 30million.

Boyzlife is the supergroup formed by long time pals Keith Duffy and Brian McFadden who previously appeared as members of ‘90s and ‘00s boybands Boyzone and Westlife, respectively.

Soul II Soul
From:13-11-2022
To:13-11-2022
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Following the success of their shows in 2018, iconic British band Soul II Soul will take their acclaimed Club Classics tour back on the road in 2022, paying tribute to their legendary debut album, ‘Club Classics Vol 1’.

With huge hits including ‘Keep On Movin’ (which sold over a million copies in the US alone) and the UK number one single ‘Back To Life (However Do You Want Me)’, Soul II Soul progressed from being one of the leaders of the 1980’s warehouse scene to pioneering British black music around the world, and securing commercial success for themselves and the huge amount of artists they have influenced.

During the course of their stellar career the band have sold over 10 million albums worldwide and main man Jazzie B was awarded an OBE for services to music in 2008, as well as winning an Ivor Novello Award for Inspiration, as “the man who gave British black music a soul of its own”.

Age guidance 14+, under 18’s to be accompanied by an adult.

The Osmonds
From:15-11-2022
To:19-11-2022
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You Loved Them For A Reason. Now, for the first time, you can see this sensational new musical and relive one of the world’s biggest ever boybands.

THE OSMONDS: A new musical tells the official true story of the five brothers from Utah who were pushed into the spotlight as children and went on to create smash hits decade after decade.

From their star residency on The Andy Williams Show, to the arrival of Donny and Marie, The Osmonds lived a remarkable life recording chart-topping albums, selling out vast arena concerts and making record-breaking TV shows - until one bad decision cost them everything.

Featuring a chart-topping list of anthems including Love Me For A Reason, Crazy Horses, Let Me In, Puppy Love, Long Haired Lover From Liverpool, Paper Roses and many more, THE OSMONDS: A New Musical will take you back to the relive 60s ... the 70s ... the 80s ...

We’re Having a Party and you’re invited to join us for this night of drama, nostalgia and dancing in the aisles.

Kevin Bloody Wilson
From:21-11-2022
To:21-11-2022
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In a world almost drowning in a tsunami of Political Correctness, Kevin Bloody Wilson stands out as a beacon for PC Pushback.

Considered ‘The Worlds Funniest Australian’, Kevin Bloody Wilson is as dry and as rough as his Outback heritage.

His latest stage performance FUPC, spotlights Political Correctness for what it is and how he sees it….a joke!

Kev’s 20 Albums of self-penned Bawdy Ballads have generated millions of sales and his global legion of fans have elevated Kev to Rock Star Status.

Seeing KEV live is something not only guaranteed to have you belly laughing at topics and subject matter you’re not supposed to be laughing at, but also something to tick off your bucket list!

Social Justice Warriors and PC Advocates are invited to stay home.

Meanwhile, the rest of us will enjoy a knee-slapping, hilarious night of Kev’s common sense take on Political Correctness.

Age: 16+

Whitney Queen Of The Night
From:23-11-2022
To:23-11-2022
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Direct from The West End, experience the ultimate Whitney Houston tribute show as it tours across the UK performing over 100 concerts every year!

Whitney - Queen of the Night is a stunning celebration of the music and life of one of the greatest singers of our time.

This phenomenal production consistently delivers an outstanding concert that has been described as “a powerhouse performance that delivers on every level…”
Taking audiences on a magical rollercoaster ride through three decades of nostalgic hits that include: I Wanna Dance With Somebody, One Moment In Time, I’m Every Woman, I Will Always Love You, My Love Is Your Love, So Emotional Baby, Run to You, Saving All My Love, How Will I Know, Million Dollar Bill, The Greatest Love Of All, and many more…

Join us for an unmissable evening as we pay homage to the Queen of Pop with a sensational cast and a stunning live band.

Sarah Millican
From:30-11-2022
To:01-12-2022
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The hilarious Sarah Millican is back on tour with a Bobby Dazzler of a new stand-up show.

In this, her sixth international tour, you’ll learn about what happens when your mouth seals shut, how to throw poo over a wall, trying to lose weight but only losing the tip of your finger, a surprisingly funny smear test, and how truly awful a floatation tank can actually be.

Sarah has spent the last year writing jokes and growing her backside. She can’t wait to get back on the road and make you laugh.

Cinderella
From:10-12-2022
To:31-12-2022
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You shall go to the ball next Christmas with the spectacular family pantomime Cinderella. Star casting to be announced.

Packed with all of the traditional pantomime ingredients the Orchard Theatre audiences expect, Cinderella features laugh-out-loud comedy, stunning scenery, beautiful costumes and plenty of boos and hisses.

Join Cinders as she goes from rags to riches, outwits her very wicked sisters and meets her dashing Prince Charming.

With over 30,000 theatregoers attending pantomime at The Orchard Theatre each festive season, it’s never too early to book for next year’s show!

The clock is ticking, so book your tickets now!

Six The Musical
From:23-01-2023
To:29-01-2023
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DIVORCED ? BEHEADED ? LIVE!

THE WEST END SMASH HIT

Making it's royal return to Dartford!

A sold-out hit in the West End, on its UK Tour, at the Sydney Opera House and reigning on Broadway, the multi Olivier Award nominated, international smash hit SIX is the phenomenon everyone is losing their head over!

From Tudor queens to pop princesses, the six wives of Henry VIII finally take to the mic to tell their tales, remixing five hundred years of historical heartbreak into an 80-minute celebration of 21st-century girl power. These Queens may have green sleeves but their lipstick is rebellious red. It’s time they told their story.

Think you know the rhyme, think again….

Divorced. Beheaded. LIVE!

Sister Act
From:06-02-2023
To:11-02-2023
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Brace yourselves Sisters!

The Broadway and UK smash-hit musical Sister Act is coming to Dartford!

Now set in the present day, this sparkling tribute to the universal power of friendship, sisterhood and music tells the hilarious story of the disco diva whose life takes a surprising turn when she witnesses a murder. Under protective custody she is hidden in the one place she won’t be found – a convent! Disguised as a nun and under the suspicious watch of Mother Superior, Deloris helps her fellow sisters find their voices as she unexpectedly rediscovers her own.

Featuring original music by Tony® and 8-time Oscar® winner Alan Menken (Disney’s Aladdin, Enchanted) and songs inspired by Motown, soul and disco, this joyous and hilarious musical is one nostalgia-filled trip you will never forget.

The Classic Rock Show
From:07-02-2023
To:07-02-2023
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After an eighteen month break due to the global Coronavirus pandemic The Classic Rock Show is back, bigger and even better, celebrating the very best-of-the-best of Classic Rock.
Paying tribute to its favourite rock heroes CRS thunders through legendary performances from the likes of Led Zeppelin, Dire Straits, Steely Dan, Eric Clapton, AC/DC, Queen, The Eagles, Fleetwood Mac, The Who and many many more.

Performed with note-for-note precision, bringing the original iconic and era defining recordings back to life on stage, with a sound and light show to match.
Anthem after anthem, riff after riff and solo after solo, culminating in a show-stopping guitar duel that is definitely not to be missed.

Jason Fox Life At The Limit
From:14-02-2023
To:14-02-2023
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Ex-special forces soldier, star of TV’s SAS: Who Dares Wins, Inside The Real Narcos and author of The Number One Bestseller Battle Scars; Jason Fox will bring to the stage and on tour for the first time the remarkable story of his daring exploits in a distinguished career as an elite operator in the UK Special Forces (SBS).

From gunfights, hostage rescues, daring escapes and heroic endeavours that defined Jason Fox’s service, to a very different battle that awaited him at home.

‘Life At The Limit’ is a breath-taking story of Special Forces soldiering; a chronicle of operational bravery, adventure and courage on and off the battlefield.

Giovanni
From:15-02-2023
To:15-02-2023
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Strictly Come Dancing 2021 champion and dance heart-throb Giovanni Pernice invites you to join him on a journey to his homeland for his brand new 2023 production of ‘Made in Italy’.
Joined by an outstanding ensemble of some of the best dancers and singers from the Ballroom and theatre world, this show promises to be a fantastic night out!

This Italian themed show features an incredible sound track, stunning choreography and beautiful costumes. But be warned… in Italy, it can get HOT HOT HOT!!!!

Midnight Train To Georgia
From:03-03-2023
To:03-03-2023
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One of the greatest female soul legends in music history, Gladys Knight boasts 11 No.1 singles, 6 No.1 albums, 7 Grammy Awards and a place along with The Pips in the prestigious Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.

Today, Hayley-Ria Christian is internationally renowned as the world’s foremost tribute to the ‘Empress of Soul’. In this stunning new production her outstanding vocal harmonies, along with a full live band and video projection, recreate the stage magic and Motown phenomenon that was Gladys Knight & The Pips.

Featuring all of the soul divas classic hits including Baby Don't Change Your Mind, Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me, The Way We Were / Try To Remember, Licence To Kill, her signature song Midnight Train To Georgia and many more!

The Commitments
From:13-03-2023
To:18-03-2023
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The Commitments is a fantastically feel good celebration of soul. Returning to tour the UK and Ireland, 5 years after a phenomenally successful, record-breaking run in London’s West End subsequent sell-out tour, The Commitments is based on the BAFTA award-winning film classic.

The Commitments received universal critical acclaim following its London World Premiere and was quickly hailed as a smash hit musical sensation. With over 20 soul classics performed live on stage including: Night Train, Try A Little Tenderness, River Deep, Mountain High, In The Midnight Hour, Papa Was A Rolling Stone, Save Me, Mustang Sally, I Heard It Through The Grapevine, Thin Line Between Love and Hate, Reach Out, Uptight, Knock On Wood, I Can’t Turn You Loose and more!

A guaranteed fabulously-fun night out you will simply never forget.

The Commitments musical has been adapted from the novel by Booker prize winning author Roddy Doyle himself and is directed by Caroline Jay Ranger.

The Thunder Girls
From:25-04-2023
To:29-04-2023
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Fame and greed tore their friendship apart, they haven’t spoken in decades…

Ever wondered what goes on behind closed doors when legendary bands meet up to discuss a reunion? What’s really going on behind the hugs and kisses at those reunion press conferences?

The Thunder Girls were a successful ‘80s girl band until lead singer, Chrissie, sensationally quit the Band to pursue a solo career taking with her, Rick, the Band’s manager. Chrissie broke the Girl Code as Rick was also the boyfriend of Band mate, Roxanne.

At the reunion dinner from hell, Chrissie tries to reunite the band to salvage herself from bankruptcy after being conned out of her fortune by her toyboy husband. Is there a price that will heal the deepest of wounds? And 30 years later, can lightning strike twice? Some friendships never die, even if you want them to…

Jimmy Carr Terribly Funny 2.0
From:10-05-2023
To:10-05-2023
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Star of the UK’s most streamed Netflix comedy special of 2021, Jimmy is back on the road with brand new material for 2022 and 2023.

Jimmy’s show contains jokes about all kinds of terrible things. Terrible things that might have affected you or people you know and love. But they’re just jokes - they are not the terrible things.

Having political correctness at a comedy show is like having health and safety at a rodeo.

Now you’ve been warned, buy a ticket.

Not suitable for under 16s.

Transport

By Train - The Orchard Theatre is situated in Dartford town centre with Dartford railway station just two minutes' walk-away. There are direct trains from South East London and Kent.

By Car - Easily reached by car, The Orchard Theatre is well sign-posted on all local routes into Dartford. From the A2 and M25 follow signs for Dartford Town Centre.

Parking

The Orchard Theatre recommends the following local car parks that could be used during your visit to the theatre:

Pre-Show Dining, Theatre & Events
Dartford Borough Council Car Park (DA1 1BP) – Free after 5pm Monday to Friday and a short walk over the footbridge.

Theatre & Events
Station Car Park (DA1 1BP) – £1.50 after 6pm Monday to Friday. £4 for all day parking on a Saturday and £1 on a Sunday.

Theatre & Events
Westgate Car Park (DA1 2AJ) – £1 after 6:30pm Monday to Friday, free after 6.30pm on a Saturday and free all day on a Sunday.

Restaurant

Just footsteps from your auditorium seat, The Orchard Theatre is proud to shout about The Restaurant. Enjoy a mouth-watering meal, prepared by our talented chefs using fresh, seasonal produce. Our wine list compliments our dishes perfectly and boasts local wines from Biddenden Vineyard.

You won't have to worry about getting to the show in time! The Restaurant is open prior to most performances, but spaces are limited, so reserve your table today.

Bar

Serving a selection of quality wines, spirits and beers, our bars are open one and a half hours before the performance, so you can enjoy a relaxing drink.

Order your interval drinks before the show and they will be waiting for you - no need to queue at the bar.

Access Info

For detailed access information please visit the theatre's access page: orchardtheatre.co.uk/Online/otAccessibility

The Orchard Theatre is the main theatre of Dartford, Kent, located at the heart of its town centre. This large 956-seat theatre opened its doors on 14th April 1983 and receives some of the best touring companies in the UK.

The Orchard Theatre was built by Dartford Borough Council to provide the community with high-quality theatre and to encourage them to be involved with the arts. It was officially opened by special guest, His Royal Highness The Duke of Kent, in 1983. Since its beginnings the venue has seen numerous successful touring companies grace its stage, presenting popular musicals, comedies, dance pieces, drama, classical music and variety events.

The venue is at the heart of Dartford town centre and its public. It runs various programmes specially to involve local youth with the theatrical arts; this includes having its own drama group and choir (called Orchard Theatre Drama and Orchard Theatre Choir), running summer youth workshops, young writers’ classes, and family days. The commitment to children in the area is also shown by the successful pantomime which is held each year around the Christmas period.

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